Ted’s Grand Delusion: He believes he is winning voters over & taking seats from the ALP. A twist is, Why he believes so.

That is not true, but don’t tell Ted and Kroger’s stick puppets, or they will cry their little eyes out and we don’t wish that – not yet. Once Civil War day is over, Liberal members will give them something to cry on, razor edged pitchforks up their bottoms. The reason for Ted’s delusion is, a mole told me, The Age, aka the Spencer Street Pravda, lurves him.

Ted holds: “We’re winning seats because Pravda likes us, they say we are the right stuff.”

One of the morons Ted employs as one of his advisers proudly related it to the wannabe Premier the Age’s newly acquired, touching affection for the Libs. The Age considers him a fine leader, and their ‘policies’ are the right stuff.

My jaw dislodged itself, hit the flaw and broke apart. I had to glue it back together, wire it, and bolt it back into place. I replied, on recovering, by paraphrasing what a senior businessman said of Kroger’s stick puppet, Julian ” Iron Man Julie” Sheezel:

“I realised Ted was dense, thicker than a concrete slab but, he’s a complete moron. A village idiot is Rhodes S. material in comparison.”

My mole was no less apoplectic. Readers cannot fathom how depressed Liberal Party members are, due to what they endure as their MPs. Few, besides Liberal Party members and the Spencer St. Pravda, appreciate how completely stupid those blobbies are. Boneless halfwits, that’s what Kroger, Costello, Toorak Doctors’ Wives and Political Brahmins, have jobbed into Liberal seats, frequently by raw thuggery against branches.

“By raw thuggery against branches…” which only demonstrates an obvious point made before. That lot believes they are decent, considerate, generous, selfless types and full of noblesse oblige. They believe Victorians believe that, and are thus moved  to vote the Libs onto the Treasury benches. Victorians will vote them in because they are so, so nice, so much nicer than Bracks.  Well, at least we have discovered the campaign slogan: ‘Vote for Ted because he is cute!’  

No, what Liberal Party members and Victorians see is the truth: They’re venal, craven, capricious, unprincipled, conceited thugs, who don’t give a fig for anything and anyone but themselves.

Let’s spell it out for the benefit of Ted ‘ The Wimp’ Baillieu: A genuine Liberal Leader would wake up in the morning and sit down to a modest breakfast of rare, bloody steak washed down with a  good, strong cup of Scotch. Sated he’d sit back, whip out a cigar and, puffing contentedly, peer at the papers and muse:

” The Age still hates me and my Party. All’s well with the world. Spring is on the cusp, birdies on the wing, young lovers murmur rot to each other.’

Then, he quietly contemplates another happy day of butchering Bracks. Not, however, Ted the Wimp Baillieu.

What is his routine? He probably wakes up, sits down to a bowl of wimp matter – weeties, or muesli, and a glass of orange juice, or a rare treat -a nice cup of tea/coffee. Just the sort of diet finger wagging fat police approves of but couldn’t even keep a rat going. Then, he sits back, and sighs:

“When will the Spencer Street Pravda ( propaganda sheet for treacherous leftists and Steve Bracks) love me and my colleagues? Can’t they see we are on their side”.

Well, he got his wish. When he turned up to his office recently, an adviser told him the good news. ” At last!” he cried, ” they love us. We’re winning. “

Liberal Party members, when they’ve read this item, can be excused for running to the toilet to retch. The ‘news’ had that effect on me too. Let’s spell out for Ted what the reaction of a real Liberal Leader would be:

 Feeling as if someone had hit him in the solar plexus, he reels against the desk from the blow, and gasps to his adviser,” What, James, has gone wrong!” Voice back again, he roars:

“Find out! I bloody well want it fixed now. If I read tomorrow morning Pravda telling the public they like us, I’ll sack you pronto.

“I want to wake up tomorrow morning to read they hate my guts, they hate yours, they hate every damned Liberal.

“I want to read they fear us. I want to read they despair over Bracks’ doom. “I want them screaming in terror as I shoot Bracks’ Cabinet in cold blood.

“I want  them crumpled up into little sobbing heaps as they realise I’ll kill Bracks’ neo-Marxists ‘policies’ and schemes, and boot out all his faithful dogs he’s stuffed into the ‘public service’

“I want Jaspan desperate, as he realises there’ll be not one more taxpayers’ cent poured into that leftist propaganda toilet rag.

“If they aren’t certain by today’s end that I’m worse than Old Nick, James; my tailor will make a pretty set of garters out of your gizzards. Bugger it James, I’m not paying you to shovel this shit onto my desk. Now, get cracking. And kick Jaspan’s head in, or don’t come back.”

No, not Ted. Ted “The Wimp” was instead thrilled, chuffed, thoroughly delighted, welcomed it as a change in the electoral fortunes. Ted probably gave his adviser a bonus and a hefty pay rise. After all, Kroger gave Iron Man Julie Sheezel a hefty pay increase for being no less stupid, and for producing just this sort of crap.

Ted, you are a political corpse. That The Spencer Street Pravda likes you, and approves of your policies’ should tell you one thing and one thing only: The Age has just written your obituary. That, they reckon you harmless. Worse, they count your ‘policies’ as the same as Bracks’. Ted must be stone deaf to miss why Jaspan is wetting his knickers over the Liberals.

Ted is less than thick as a concrete slab? He is a complete dunce with lead for brains. It shows, his nerves don’t work the way a Liberal’s do. Well, what can be said of man who can’t square up to a juicy, bloody rare steak and a good cuppa strong Scotch for brekkie, and look forward to another day of skewering Bracks with red hot pokers, except to add, ” .. and he’s a wuss.”

Yes, this is what Kroger and the Toorak Brahmans have reduced the parliamentary wing of the Victorian Liberal Party to, another gaggle of superannuated, leftist, village idiots. They haven’t a single neuron between them. No neuron, no clue. They are self-satisfied cretins, impervious to Liberals but not to The Age: That’s how bad the Parliamentary wing of the Liberal Party is. Meanwhile, Ted holds firmly to his delusion of taking seats from Bracks. I’d laugh, but it’s not funny at all.

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